Pity Party

Yeah, I'm just gonna wallow for a moment. Because lately I feel like the most hideous fugly bitch in the world.

My new job? Ya, I got hired because their last receptionist was hot and distracted men from their work in the office. Despite having no qualifications in receptionist work and no experience, I was hired basically the second I walked into the room. I'm 99% sure it's because my boss took one look at me and thought, "well she's not gonna be a problem." Nice.

My friends? The boys think a compliment is saying all I need to be one of them is a penis. The girls console me with trite expressions about having a funny personality, or nice hair. Shit you say to fat chicks or ugly chicks to make them feel better.

My boyfriend? If I was jumping up and down in front of him, bare ass naked and looking for attention, he'd ask me to move a little to the left so he could see the tv. It's not that he doesn't love me, I know he does. But a lot of the time I find it hard to believe he's attracted to me. He *says* he is when I'm upset about it, but those are just words. So far, there hasn't been much action to contradict that.

I guess I'm most upset about the last one. The job - whatever, I don't want to be attractive to 50 year old men. The friends - I'm used to it. I'm used to being the plain one, the unpretty one, the one with the personality, the guy's girl, the nerd, whatever else I've been called. That's just life, isn't it? I've had it since I was little and it doesn't bother me too much anymore.

But with the boyfriend I thought maybe there was one person in the universe who actually thought I was attractive. Even better, *he's* gorgeous and sweet and funny and way better than I deserve or ever thought I'd end up with.

I guess he just really likes my fucking personality too. =(

/end pity party